Wednesday, May 26, 2010

20 Ways to Create Greater Marital Connection
by Eric 0 Comments
20 ways to create greater Marital Connection

By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach

(These are the softer sides of relationship which can feel fun, exciting or fulfilling)

Physiclal- connecting physically

Emotional- connecting through feelings, moods, attitudes or being on the same wave-length

Intellectual- connecting through the world of current events in news, blogs, magazines or books

- connecting through shared learning experiences in classes, seminars or workshops

Aesthetic- connecting through experiences of beauty in fine art, craftsmanship, antiques or nature

- connecting while sharing ideas about designing or developing projects together

Recreational- connecting through shared sports, hobbies, exercise, travel or theme parks

- connecting through parties or events at work, church or with friends & family

- connecting through music, TV, films, concerts, dining or shopping

Humor- connecting through shared laughter, giggles, comedy or silliness in any situation


(these are the harder sides of a relationship which may feel boring, difficult or challenging)

- connecting through common tasks, daily chores & responsibilities at home or in career

- connecting together with scheduling, planning, clocks, calendars or daily routines

Financial- connecting through shared values on budgeting, spending, saving or investing goals

Caregiving or Co-parenting- connecting through shared responsibility to care for others (or pets)

- connecting through differences in strongly held beliefs with mutual respect or admiration

Crisis- connecting through problems, pressures or painful events, especially in reaching out to others

-connecting through the shared belief of honoring marital vows as sacred promises

Spiritual- connecting through shared religious traditions, beliefs, ethics, values & worship styles

- connecting verbally or nonverbally to share the ‘real you’ or listening to your partner

Trust- connecting through shared feelings of respect, honesty, integrity or confidence in your mate

Notice the differences between these 2 types of Marital Connection:

Tender Connection is about Romance & Chemistry

Media images tend to define the ultimate degree of love as feeling happy with that person you are spending time with right now instead of investing into a partner for life
If you only have a tender connection in your relationship, it leaves a potential gap open for a married person to essentially function as a ‘single person’ with the mindset of serving self over their spouse, resulting in a person feeling very, very alone.
View this as the “Me-My-I” mindset of the self-absorbed or pleasure seekers that avoid taking responsibility for their behavior or blame shift problems away from their selfish decisions to find a reason to show that it’s really your fault that they are the way they are or do the things they do.

Tough Connection is about Reality & Consequences

Biblical images of defining the ultimate degree of love as choosing to reach out to build a long term relationship as married “Partners” during the fun or frustrating times of life
If you have included the reality of a tough connection in your relationship, it closes the gap of being a self-serving or single person in the marriage, since the mindset and goal is of building marital unity.

View this as the “We-Us-Our” mindset of building a relationship together with each person taking ownership and responsibility for their part of the marriage as they serve and give to one another in love.
If this article helped you, you are invited to share it with your own list at work or church, forward it to friends and family or post it on your own site or blog. Just leave it intact and do not alter it in any way. Any links must remain in the article.

Please include the following paragraph in your reprint."Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group weekly eNews, (Copyright, 2004-2010), To subscribe to this valuable weekly resource visit "

Got this from KLOVE

No comments: